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Exploring the Impact of Placing Parents on Pedestals in our Healing Journey



Do we tend to put our parents on pedestals? Could we be doing this unconsciously?


As we grow up, it’s natural for us to look up to our parents. They are often our first role models, guiding us through life’s many lessons. However, sometimes, we idealize them, placing them on pedestals, overlooking their flaws, and seeing them as perfect.


This admiration can be a beautiful part of the parent-child relationship, but it might also lead to unrealistic expectations. If we hold our parents in such high regard, we might find it challenging to accept their human imperfections or acknowledge times when they may have fallen short. This perspective can shape our understanding of relationships and our personal growth.


How we perceive our parents can influence our ability to be honest about our childhood experiences. Many of us view our parents as perfect and infallible. While it’s important to respect and care for our parents, idealizing them can prevent us from acknowledging any childhood traumas and starting the healing process.


Before becoming parents, our parents were individuals with their traumas and challenges. If our parents did not address their traumas, they likely influenced their parenting, how they showed love, and how they communicated with us.


For instance, a parent who didn’t receive affectionate love in their childhood might struggle to express it to their children. Similarly, a parent who experienced verbal abuse might unknowingly replicate that communication style. Acknowledging these issues is not about blaming our parents; it’s about understanding our experiences fully.


How do we begin to remove our parents off the pedestal:

1. Reflect Honestly: Consider your childhood experiences without filtering them through an idealized lens.

2. Understand Their Journey: Learn about your parents’ histories and traumas to understand their actions and show empathy without excusing harmful behaviors.

3. Open Dialogue: Where appropriate and safe, have open conversations with your parents about your childhood.

4. Seek Support: Therapy or counseling can help you healthily unpack these complex emotions.


The goal is not to blame but to genuinely understand our past to break the cycle of trauma and heal. Being honest about our past is a courageous step towards personal freedom and wellness.


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